Here’s my reflection on an incredible journey I have been on that started off from a bicycle to providing a Halfway House for boys — and why I haven’t given up yet.
My dream to build a Halfway House for boys in Kenya who need a place to call home will one day come true! Just thining about it makes my heart beat in joy and anticipation. This has been my dream since I got on my bicycle in 2018 to fundraise money so Lifesong Kenya can provide shelter for boys who need care, protection, healing and restoration.
Since we were working with young male offenders, our idea was to provide shelter for boys who were exiting juvenile prison and needed a reintegration path back to their families and the community.
The Rides That Birthed Our Halfway House for Boys
During our first three cycling events, we cycled from Nairobi to Migori through Naivasha, Nakuru and Kisumu in 2018 and 2019. In 2020, we cycled from Nairobi to Malindi through Machakos, Wote, Voi and Mombasa.
In 2021, I received a scholarship to train as a Co-Active Coach, courtesy of the Co-Active Training Institute — CTI — and my life has never been the same again. Seeing that our fundraising efforts were not raising funds, I decided to take a leap of faith.
First, we decided to start renting a facility so we could start providing shelter for boys exiting juvenile prison. Secondly, we cycled from Usenge to Lunga Lunga through Kakamega, Eldoret, Nakuru, Nyeri, Nairobi, Emali, Voi and Mombasa.
The Question That Still Echoes
While cycling to raise funds for our Halfway House for boys in 2021, we had a two-nights stopover in Eldoret where we had the privilege to stay at Kipchoge Keino’s house, thanks to an introduction by Olympia Jelagat Keino-Okal, his daughter. On our last night, Kipchoge asked me a question that foreshadowed the difficult challenges that awaited me and my family.
“Your Halfway House for boys is an initiative that should be supported,” Kipchoge said. “Have you shared your vision with brothers in your local church?”
“Yes, I have,” I replied. “I have been doing so since 2012 when I first started going to juvenile prison.”
“Then, why are they not supporting you?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I replied.
“Is there something that you are not doing right? he asked.
“I don’t know,” I replied. “But, after asking for their help in English, Swahili and even Dholuo, my mother tongue, I don’t know what else I need to do,” I added.
A few minutes later, I excused myself from the dinner table and walked to the bedroom where I called Cynthia Wendo, one of my biggest gift and blessing from God. During the call, I cried throughout, not knowing that down the line, I was going to have an encounter that was going to be beyond my capacity.
It reminded me of what Nelson Mandela once said, “If you speak to a man in a language he understands, you speak to his head. If you speak to him in his language, you speak to his heart.”
Writing about Nelson Mandela and the Language of Leaders, Steven Fulmer mentioned that even when people are speaking in English of any other laanguage they both understand does not translate to them understandign each other. It is therefore imperative that leadership today get out of our heads and get into our hearts because leadership is not just logical and intellectual and cold. It is personal, it is emotional, it is connective, he added.
The Phone Call That Changed Everything
In 2023, I received a phone call that shook my world and everything I thought I knew about boys, stigma and trauma. Two boys had been sexually assaulted by the same man on the same bed and needed shelter while their court case was being determined. With a trembling heart, I said yes — and since then, my world has never been the same again, mostly in a very good and personal way.
After the two boys arrived at our Halfway House for boys, I witnessed the devastating effect and impact of sexual assault against boys and wish I would have gotten a more easier calling, which is what most people refer to this difficult task as a “calling.” I have watched how the boys struggle with the impact of the sexual assault, how they see and value themselves as being lesser human beings.
Providing a Halfway House for boys and young men who have been sexually assaulted is one of the most difficult things that I have ever done in my life. Apart from having my wife’s support and a few friends, I am mostly on my own, facing challenges and fighting battles that are stacked against boys. I am often broke, broken, worn out, alone, and still fighting for male teens who need healing and restoration from stigma and trauma.
Why I am Not Walking Away
I have wanted to give up and walk away, so many times, but then I think about Tye, Dye, Braveheart, Rev, Bishop and five more boys who need a place to call home. I think about the big progress we have made since 2021 and the boys and young men who have walked through our doors and the lives we have turned around — and I ask God for more grace and to urgently send help.
Sundays are often my most difficult days because I attend church service and I don’t know what I need to do to get help beyond an occasional “Brother Hawi, you’re doing a great job. More grace and more blessings to you!”
The rest of the week, whenever I reach out for help towards supporting our Halfway House for boys, the first question they ask is: Sundays are often my most difficult days because I attend church service and I don’t know what I need to do to get help beyond an occasional “Why is your local church not supporting your Halfway House for boys? What are you not doing right!”
These are questions that I will never answer adequately because I don’t know what I need to do. If you know how I can communicate about our Halfway House for boys in a better way that will resonate with local churches, please reach out to me. I need help to reach to as many people as possible so Lifesong Kenya can support more boys who need shelter and a second chance.
Final Thoughts
My dream is to find land where we can build a Halfway House for boys who need a place to call home. I know God has heard my heart’s desire and this will one day come true. In the meantime, I will continue opening my heart and my arms to fully embrace my role as Baba Lifesong, a father of teenage boys who need healing and restoration from stigma and trauma. I welcome for a visit to our Halfway House for boys so you can see the importance of supporting vulnerable boys through providing shelter, education and aftercare support.
Learn more about our work: lifesongkenya.org
Want to support? Housing for Boys Facing Trauma and Stigma
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